A Wicked/Smart Ladies and Gentlemen's Gift.
"Thanks for the memories! What's the word..."
– Keith Richards, The Rolling Stones
...THUNDERBIRD! No kidding–there's a long story in the Handbook about our hero drinking a whole bottle of the famous "bum wine" with Keith at a birthday party in the suburban Connecticut snow that's hilarious and true, true.
Introducing The Official Old's Cool Education I.
The Official Old's Cool Education I (one set includes a Handbook, Black Book, and Read Book) is the original smart aleck's guide to the really important things in life– filled with practical, old-school basics, some hero worship (Keith!), trivia, poetry, and the art and science of living well.
Knowledge, wisdom, and wit that's practical and useful in the real-world are the best gifts ever.
Tailor made for the wiseacres, know-it-alls, recalcitrants and kings in your life, or anyone else who's ready to bite the ass off a bear. Seriously, these charming and original primers are a terrific way to celebrate Dads and Grads. Any brainiac's birthday. Your favorite Valentine. A special Mother's Day. Or a real treat just for yourself.
What are you waiting for, Christmas?
Are you as clever as an 11-year old? Let's see: What are the two main ingredients of steel? Who is the only U.S. President whose first language wasn't English? What was Sleeping Beauty's real name? We'll take you fishing with Einstein, climb with you up Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and play a Latin word matching game. Mens sana in corpore sano.
Due to popular worldwide demand, and to the intellectual diminishment and disappointment of postal workers with sticky fingers everywhere, we are now offering digital downloads of all our handbooks.
Don't believe us.
Mike Lerario, author of Leadership in Balance, retired army special forces officer and West Point grad from Fayetteville, North Carolina had some great things to say about The Official Old's Cool Education I.
We can't imagine a better gift than knowledge, wit, and rock 'n' roll in the palm of your hand! The Official Old's Cool Education I is boredom's annulment.
Proudly Made in the USA.
Wait, there's more...
The Official Old's Cool Education II is also a wicked literate winner.
The Official Old's Cool Education II (Logbook, Field Book, and Road Book) was inspired by our messing about in boats and skulls, humping over field and stream with gun in hand, hounds and hares at bay, and the corn-stubble cold and a beautiful blue sky flocked with sunshine.
We'll also show that driving slow cars fast is better than the other way around, especially classics without synchromesh transmissions, resurrected from some Craigslist car-yard dead, and highlighted by our grand-finale flourish/finish in the annual Old's Cool Tour–Rally Around The Ivy League, dubbed by somebody as "the smartest road race in the world"–an unorthodox but still mostly traditional 1,000 mile, 4-day dream weave around the eight Ivy League schools.
Three ludic and lovely calls to adventure.
Life is certainly scary sometimes, but wonderful and dangerous adventure's all around, kids, for the taking, as easy as kiss my hand. Loft, build, and sail a small boat with your own hands, and wits, around the lake or the worlds of possibilities if you want. Climb an unmoved mountain, navigate by the stars, spool out an impromptu road trip into a neighboring state, a neighboring state of mind, a path untravelled. Discover Orion and co-mingle minds with the universe of your own imagination. There are billions of galaxies to explore out there–in here too.
Poncho buddies, bears, and home-made soap show up. Tools and men and Leathermen. Stars are pondered upon. Winter trees and walls are covered with Robert Frost's poetry. Even the America's Cup makes a cameo, in Harlem of all places.
See for yourself:
As Stephen King once quipped, "Books are uniquely-portable magic." We couldn't agree more–and he could've been talking about any of our eclectic and delicious primers. Don't leave home without them.
And last but not least...
The Official Old's Cool Education III is a perfect-whirled gift.
This priceless and timeless three-handbook set (Cookbook, Playbook, and Whirled Book) is our latest and greatest! attempt at a unique and original, thought-provoking guides to life. Knowledge, wisdom, and wit that's applicable and useful in the real-world, and that will make you into a sort of modern-day renaissance man (or woman) are the best gifts you could ever give anyone.
A bespoke-fit ffor chefs, athletes, sports-lovers, and armchair philosophers. A terrific way to celebrate Dads and Grads. Any brainiac's birthday. Your favorite Valentine. A special Father's Day. Treat yourself.
What are you waiting for, Christmas?
Jam-packed with Recipes, How to "Play the Game," and Experi-Mental Musings and Amusings.
The Cookbook'll inspire you to raid the pantry and Frankenstein some homemade créme de corps together; chicken fry a kangaroo; become the "Egyptian" at a restaurant.
The Play Book has step-by-step guides and prime advice on the best and suavest and surest way to "play the game." Try your hand at cricket, darts, crew, and blow your mind with tough-nut puzzles and trivia. Life is certainly scary sometimes, but wonderful and dangerous adventure's all around, kids, for the taking, as easy as throwing the first pitch.
The Whirled Book features longer-form monographs discussing and dissecting the Plato's Cave-like reality we're living in–and you probably won't like a lot of what we have to say about it.