A Wicked/Smart Ladies and Gentlemen's Gift

$ 19.99

"Thanks for the memories! What's the word..."

– Keith Richards, The Rolling Stones

...THUNDERBIRD! No kidding–there's a long story in the Handbook about our hero drinking a whole bottle of the famous "bum wine" with Keith at a birthday party in the suburban Connecticut snow that's hilarious and true, true.

Introducing The Official Old's Cool Education I.

This priceless and timeless three-handbook set (Handbook, Black Book, and Read Book) was our quixotic first attempt at a classic guide to the really important things in life, and is filled with practical, old-school basics, some hero worship!, and the art and science of living well. A beautiful introduction to the hidden treasures of our ludic, literate and lovely world.

Knowledge, wisdom, and wit are the best presents ever.

Celebrate dads and grads. Any brainiac's birthday. Your fabulous Valentine's lover. A special hands-on mom. Treat yourself.

THE TRIFECTA SPECIAL–Get all 3 sets (TOOCE I, II, & III) for only $39.99!

What are you waiting for, Christmas?

Cutthroat Entertainment / Education / Delight.

Are you as up-to-snuff as an 11-year old? Let's see: What are the two main ingredients of steel? Who is the only  U.S. President whose first language wasn't English? What was Sleeping Beauty's real name? We'll take you fishing with Einstein, challenge you to our state nickname matching game, educate you on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, navigate your way around Salem, NH, and play a Latin word  game. We'll demonstrate step-by-step how to buy the American Dream, on Craigslist of all places. Sic transit gloria mundi and all that, but our advice is both timely and timeless. 

Don't believe us.

Mike Lerario, author of Leadership in Balance, retired army special forces officer and West Point grad from Fayetteville, North Carolina had some great things to say about The Official Old's Cool Education I:

"The Holy Trinity of knowledge, wisdom, fun and games."

– Mike Lerario, Fayetteville, NC

Sports, Literature, History, Science, and Geography.

We'll also introduce you to the great men and women throughout history we look up to: Beryl Markham, General Grant, the indomitable Apsley Cherry-Garrard, Dr. Jordan Peterson–our Socrates, Shakespeare, Montaigne and many more. St. Christopher. Virgil. The Law of Gross Tonnage, explained. Which way's north and how do you know? Where's The Sea of Tranquility? 

TOOCE I comes with everything you see here:

Each set contains a HANDBOOK, BLACK BOOK and READ BOOK

• 60+ pages each. 

• Handy 3 1/2" x 5 1/2" size so you can carry them anywhere

• Rugged and reliable 80 lb protective and minimalist cover.

• Poetry, quotes, stories, delicious listicles, recalcitrance, heroes, fun.

• Way better than a Princeton diploma in your back pocket.

Proudly Made in the USA.

But wait, there's more...

The Official Old's Cool Education II is also a wicked literate winner.

The Official Old's Cool Education II was inspired by our messing about in boats and skulls, humping over field and stream with gun in hand, hounds and hares at bay, and the corn-stubble cold and a beautiful blue sky flocked with sunshine. We'll also show that driving slow cars fast is better than the other way around, especially classics without synchromesh transmissions, resurrected from some Craigslist car-yard dead, and highlighted by our grand-finale flourish/finish in the annual Old's Cool Tour–Rally Around The Ivy League, dubbed by somebody as "the smartest road race in the world"–an unorthodox but still mostly traditional 1,000 mile, 4-day dream weave around the eight Ivy League schools.

Three ludic and lovely calls to adventure.

Life is certainly scary sometimes, but wonderful and dangerous adventure's all around, kids, for the taking, as easy as kiss my lips. Loft, build, and sail a small boat with your own hands, and wits, around the lake or the worlds of possibilities if you want. Climb an unmoved mountain, navigate by the stars, spool out an impromptu road trip into a neighboring state, a neighboring state of mind, a path untravelled. Discover Orion and co-mingle minds with the universe of your own imagination. There are billions of galaxies to explore out there–in here too.

Tarpaulin, bears, and home-made soap show up. Tools and men and Leathermen. Stars are pondered upon. Winter trees and walls are covered with Robert Frost's poetry. Even the America's Cup makes a cameo, in Harlem of all places.

See for yourself:

Perfectly portable.

As Stephen King once quipped, "Books are uniquely-portable magic." We couldn't agree more–and he could've been talking about any of our eclectic and delicious primers. Don't leave home without them.

Chock-a-block with both style and substance:

Each set contains a LOGBOOK, FIELD BOOK and ROAD BOOK

• 60+ pages each. 

• Handy 3 1/2" x 5 1/2" size so you can carry them anywhere

• Rugged and reliable 80 lb protective and minimalist cover.

• Poetry, quotes, stories, delicious listicles, recalcitrance, heroes, fun.

• Way better than an Ivy-League diploma in your back pocket.

Proudly Made in the USA.


And last but not least...



The Official Old's Cool Education III is a perfect-whirled gift.

This priceless and timeless three-handbook set (Cookbook, Playbook, and Whirled Book) is our latest (and greatest) attempt at a unique and original, thought-provoking guides to life. Knowledge, wisdom, and wit that's applicable and useful in the real-world, and that will make you into a sort of modern-day renaissance man (or woman) is the best gifts you could ever give anyone.

Celebrate Dads and Grads. Any brainiac's birthday. Your fabulous Valentine's lover. A special Mother's Day. Treat your own brilliant self.

What are you waiting for, Christmas?

Jam-packed with Recipes, How to "Play the Game," and Experi-Mental Musings and Amusings.

The Cookbook'll inspire you to raid the pantry and Frankenstein some homemade créme de corps together; chicken fry a kangaroo; become the "Egyptian" at a restaurant. The Play Book has step-by-step guides and prime advice on the best and suavest and surest way to "play the game." Try your hand at cricket, darts, crew, and blow your mind with tough-nut puzzles and trivia. Life is certainly scary sometimes, but wonderful and dangerous adventure's all around, kids, for the taking, as easy as throwing the first pitch. The Whirled Book features longer-form monographs discussing and dissecting the Plato's Cave-like reality we're living in–and you probably won't like a lot of what we have to say about it.

Our philosophical, physical and metaphysical swan-song:

Each set contains a COOKBOOK, PLAYBOOK and WHIRLED BOOK

• 60+ pages each. 

• Handy 3 1/2" x 5 1/2" size so you can carry them anywhere

• Rugged and reliable 80 lb protective and minimalist cover.

• Poetry, quotes, stories, delicious listicles, recalcitrance, heroes, fun.

• Way better than a Princeton diploma in your back pocket.

Proudly Made in the USA.

Don't stay home without them.

As Stephen King once quipped, "Books are uniquely-portable magic." We couldn't agree more–and he could've been talking about any of our eclectic handbooks and delicious primers, so don't leave home without them either.

Old's Cool gift-wrapped at no extra charge–just leave us a note at checkout.

TOOCE I, II, & III are also available as digital downloads – Shop Now.

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