Here are all the "Answers."
We made the decision early on with The Official Old's Cool Education I, II, and III to post the answers here on our website, since printed space was limited, and we'd rather jam-pack those handy manuals with knowledge and interestingness rather than make it easy for all of you know-it-alls out there to cheat and gloat.
The Official Old's Cool Education I – "Wicked/Smart"
This is our first 3-volume set, made up of the Handbook, Black Book, and Read Book.
The Official Old's Cool Handbook
Starting from the beginning, and going page by page, with just the answers.
Page 25 1.) Australia–just because it wasn't discovered doesn't mean it wasn't the largest island. 2.) John Kiley, organist. 3.) 160 feet. 4.) 96–The subways stops on the uptown express (Red Line) in Manhattan. 5.) Wayne Gretzsky. 6.) Homicide. 7.) Zero (several scenarios). 8.) Martin Van Buren. 9.) It's on a lunar calendar. 10.) Synecdoche.
Page 26 Movies: The Original Star Wars–we don't know what it's called now. Charade; Dirty Harry; John Wayne in The Searchers; Casablanca; Woody Allen's Manhattan.
Page 26: The German.
Page 29 1.) Full moon in July. 2.) 17,500. 3.) Tomato, celery, watercress, beet, spinach, parsley, spinach, carrots. 4.) Gerald Ford. 5.) Amp–Andre Marie Ampere; Joule–James Joule; Kelvin–Lord Kelvin 6.) Banana. 7.) Groundhog or woodchuck. 8.) Imaginary. 9.) Baseball–catcher; Crew–coxwain. 10.) Wicked; bow.
Page 50 Headline reads: Sm(art)ist man in the code wide world.
Page 52 1.) ...no harm. 2.) The Right To Bear Arms. 3.) 3 goals scored by the same person in one game in hockey. 4.) Death, famine, war, and conquest. 5.) Sweet, sour, bitter, salty, and umami. 6.) Yes–it's the sum of its positive integers. 7.) Pride, envy, sloth, greed, anger, gluttony, lust, Bonus: Prudence, courage, temperance, justice, charity, faith, and hope. 8.) Unofficial; various. 9.) Idiomatic: somewhere near heaven. 10.) Thou shalt have no other gods before me; thou shalt not make for yourself a carved image or false gods; thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain; keep holy the Sabbath; honor your father and mother; you shall not murder; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; you shall not covet thy neighbor's wife or goods.
The Official Old's Cool Black Book
Again, starting from the beginning, and going page by page, with just the answers.
Page 32 RHIP: WO1, CW2, CW3, CW4, CW5. Second Lieutenant, First Lieutenant. Captain. Major, Lieutenant Colonel. Colonel. Brigadier General, Major General, Lieutenant General, General, General of the Army.
Page 49 1–J, 2–B, 3–A, 4–I, 5–C, 6–H, 7–G, 8–D, 9–E, 10–F, 11–L, 12–K, 13–O, 14–M, 15–N. SPQR–Senatus Populusque Romanus
The Official Old's Cool Read Book
Again, starting from the beginning, and going page by page, with just the answers.
Page iii Sails. Egyptian.
Page 29 1.) Arbeit macht frei. 2.) Newport, RI is: 41.49 N 71.32 W. 3.) General Education Development. 4.) Time. 5.) Elevator cable weight. 6.) Unlimited: thrust and lift are the only factors. 7.) Gauge is how many rounds you can make for the gun from one pound of lead. Caliber is the decimal-inch diameter of the gun barrel. 8.) Your cheekbone. 9.) Polo. 10.) Walk, hit by pitch, dropped third strike, interference.
Page 33 1.) Coconut–palm, Date–palm, Sloe-blackthorn. 2.) If you have evil intent, you will get evil results. 3.) Grape soda, cough syrup. 4.) The concept of zero was not known at the time the Gregorian Calendar was created. 5.) Aramaic, Greek, Hebrew. 6.) Murder. Cackle. 7.) Arguably the mandrill, and also the triplewart seadevil. 8.) Cyan, magenta, yellow, key (black). 9.) 1.1 million pounds. 10.) It doesn't have a seed–it's been genetically-modified out of it.
The Official Old's Cool Education II – "Just Do Wit."
Our second 3-volume set, made up of the Log book, Field Book, and Road Book.
The Official Old's Cool Logbook
Page iii Atmospheric pressure. Go where it is and give it the food it likes. On a hook.
Page 29 1.) Flounder's eyes are on right side of body, fluke, left. 2.) A steady course or straight line of bearing on a map. 3.) Shipshape. 4.) A pier is perpendicular to the shore, a wharf is parallel. 5.) A spar between the bowsprit and the martingale. 6.) A pod. 7.) 3%. 8.) A form of punishment where a sailor is dragged underneath the length of a ship. 9.) The bigger boat has the right of way. 10.) An evil sea spirit; the bottom of the ocean.
Page 58 Warrant Officer 01, CW2, CW3, CW4, CW5. Ensign, Lieutenant Junior Grade, Lieutenant, Lieutenant Commander, Commander, Captain, Rear Admiral Lower Half, Rear Admiral Upper Half, Vice Admiral, Admiral, Fleet Admiral.
The Official Old's Cool Field Book
Page iii 50 pounds.
Page 10 1.) 1–H, 2–I, 3–J, 4–G, 5–E, 6–D, 7–C, 8–B, 9–F, 10–A.
Page 32 1.) Weak nuclear force, strong nuclear force, magnetism, and gravity. 2.) Soybeans. 3.) Bacteria are huge compared to viruses, which need a host and are almost always infectious. 4.) Carbon, hydrogen, oxygen. 5.) The buoyant force is equal to the weight of the fluid displaced. 6.) Gauge is how many rounds you can make for the gun from one pound of lead. Caliber is the decimal-inch diameter of the gun barrel. 7.) Arguably the mandrill, and also the triplewart seadevil. 8.) Hawaii, Texas, Florida, Vermont. 9.) Igneous, sedimentary, metamorphic. 10.) John Clayton, II, Viscount of Greystoke.
The Official Old's Cool Road Book
Page iii They don't conduct electricity. Poisonous needs to be eaten, venomous can attack you. Self-awareness for eighteen month old or so infants.
Page 32 1.) Velocipede 2.) China 3.) The Yellow Jersey 4.) The townies 5.) Bicycle Moto Cross 6.) One turn of the pedal equals one turn of the wheel 7.) It's the main group of riders in a race 8.) A bicycle seat and handlebars 9.) It doesn't have a little finger to ring the bell 10.) Lemond
Page 35 Louisiana. 1–DD, 2–CC, 3–BB, 4–AA, 5–Z, 6–Y, 7–X, 8–W, 9–V, 10–U, 11–T, 12–S, 13–R, 14–Q, 15–P, 16–O, 17–N, 18–M, 19–L, 20–K, 21–J, 22–I, 23–XX, 24–WW , 25–F, 26–E, 27–D, 28–C, 29–KK, 30–A, 31–QQ, 32–H, 33–VV, 34–UU, 35–TT, 36–SS, 37–RR, 38–G, 39–PP, 40–OO, 41–NN, 42–MM, 43–LL, 44–B, 45–JJ, 46–II, 47–HH, 48–GG, 49–FF, 50–EE.
Page 36 1.) Vermont. 2.) Hawaii, Alaska. 3.) Maine.
The Official Old's Cool Education III – "Real-Whirled"
Our latest and greatest 3-volume set, made up of the Playbook, Cook Book, and Whirled Book.
The Official Old's Cool Playbook
Page 10 The German.
Page 11 1.) Australia–just because it wasn't discovered doesn't mean it wasn't the largest island. 2.) John Kiley, organist. 3.) 160 feet. 4.) 96. The uptown express train stops in Manhattan. 5.) Wayne Gretzky. 6.) Homocide. 7.) 0–many scenarios. 8.) Martin Van Buren. 9.) They're on the lunar calendar. 10.) Synecdoche.
Page 12 1.) Patton starring George C. Scott. 2.) Animal House–our pick for the greatest comedy of all time. 3.) The Godfather, a famous quip by the inimitable Moe Greene.
Page 13 1.) Full moon in July, also known as a "Buck Moon." 2.) A snake is venomous and kills you by injecting its venom; mushrooms are poisonous–you die by eating them. 3.) Prayers/praises. 4.) Random. 5.) Einsteinium, Bohrium, Fermium. 6.) Roughly 150 million kilometers, the distance from the Earth to the Sun. 7.) Spiny anteater. 8.) Holy Thursday, between Holy Wednesday and Good Friday. 9.) Baseball, crew (coxwain). 10. ) Bass, read.
The secret to the Century Game is to always add a number to the total so that the new total then ends in a 9–for example if your opponent says 7, you say 2 so the total is 9. If he says 4, the new total is 13. You say 6, so it's then 19. And so, 29, 39, etc.
Page 20 Aunt Hiller likes words with double letters.
Page 21 The headline reads: Be sure to drink your Ovaltine, from the famous movie A Christmas Story.
1.) SOS. 2.) Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. 3.) Used in restaurants when they are sold out of a dish. 4. 96–Red Line Express subway stops on the Upper West Side in Manhattan. 5.) 26 Letters of the Alphabet.
Page 22 Warrant officers; 1st and 2nd Lieutenant; Captain, Major, Lieutenant Colonel, Colonel, Brigadier General, Major General, Lieutenant General, General, General of the Army.
Page 24 1.) J. 2.) B. 3.) A. 4.) I. 5.) C. 6.) H. 7.) G. 8.) D. 9.) E. 10.) F. 11.) L. 12.) K. 13.) O. 14.) M. 15.) N.
SPQR, Senatus Populusque Romanus, an abbreviated phrase referring to the government of the ancient Roman Republic.
Page 25 1.) Thailand. 2.) Zimbabwe. 3.) Istanbul. 4. Sri Lanka. 5.) St. Petersburg. 6.) Yangon, Myanmar. 7.) Bejing. 8.) Taiwan. 9.) Democratic Republic of the Congo. 10.) Bangladesh. 11.) Mumbai.
Atlanta Flames. Brooklyn Dodgers. Canucks.
Page 27 1.) Poe's Law. 2.) A word that seems to mean one thing, but means something else. 3.) Sprite and cough syrup. 4. Melodica. 5.) Aramaic, Hebrew, Greek. 6.) A boogle, a sneak, a confusion. 7.) Mandrills. 8.) Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, Key (black). 9.) Troposphere. 10.) Canadian Mountie in The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.
Romeo and Juliet. Othello. As you like it.
Page 30 1.) Shame is a public emotion, guilt private. 2.) It's exactly backwards–the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. 3.) Chicago. 4. Liam and Olivia. 5.) South Georgia Island, and South Sandwich Island, British Territory in Southern Atlantic Ocean. 6.) Fencing. 7.) Caliber is the inside diameter of a gun measured in inches; gauge is how many balls you can make out of 1 lb of lead that are the same diameter as the barrel. 8.) Your cheekbone. 9.) Yes, but not in the same inning. 10.) Navigating using time, speed and compass direction.
Page 41 1.) Flounder is a right-eye fish; fluke left-eye. 2.) The shortest line between two points in sailing. 3.) Clean as a whistle. 4. A wharf is parallel to the shoreline, pier perpendicular. 5.) A martingale. 6.) Pod. 7.) 3%. 8.) Punishment where a sailor is dragged under the keel of the ship. 9.) Bigger boat always has the right of way. 10.) Fictional character; idiom for the bottom of the sea.
Page 43 1.) Well? 2.) Huge seaweed mass floating in the North Atlantic. 3.) Hokkaido, Honshu, Shikoko, and Kyushu. 4. The rotation of the Earth. 5.) Hawaii. 6.) Equador, Brazil, Kenya, Indonesia. 7.) Nepal. 8.) It's only ice. 9.) Haiti/Dominican Republic, St. Maartin, Crete. 10.) On the moon. 11.) U.S.
Page 45 1.) Yes. 2.) 4. Just because you call it a leg doesn't make it one. 3.) 100,000. 4.William Blake. 5.) Mules. 6.) Out-of-focus lens effect. 7.) Incentive is usually long-term; consumatory is exactly that–consume and then done. 8.) With enough lift and thrust, the sky's the limit. 9.) Venus. 10.) Yes, white blood cells have a nucleus. 11.) Optical illusion cube that can be seen two ways. 12.) When a shark sticks its head above water. 13.) Sweet, sour, bitter, salty, and umami. 14.) Imaginary number. 17.) Good question. 18.) Spikes on a stegosaurine's tail. 19.) 150. The maximum number of friends you can have. 20.) Color, mostly.
Page 47 1.) Art for art's sake. 2.) Sound effects. 3.) Sleepy, Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, and Happy. 4. A plot device to send the movie into another direction. 5.) Always keep the camera angle on one side of the action. 6.) The author or scriptwriter is the key figure in the film. 7.) Bug Bunny. 8.) Tremaine. 9.) The head electrician. 10.) It's the Kennedy assassination.
Page 50 1.) The Indianapolis 500. 2.) Two-house, in our case the Senate and House of Representatives 3.) Jasper Johns. 4. Four: Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, Kennedy. 5.) Jimmy Brown. 6.) Thousands. 7.) West Point, NY. 8.) Between Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia and Delware, originally drawn up to settle a border dispute. 9.) Public Libraries. 10.) Wheat. 11.) U.S.P.S. vehicles. 12.) One of the towns, Cohasset, isn't contiguous. 13.) Dallas Cowboys. 14.) It was the precurser to the U.S. Constitution. 15.) 1860-1864. Confederates (South) vs. Union (North).
Page 53 1.) 2.) 3.) Feed each other. 4. Being able to understand what a woman is really saying. 5.) 6.) One Mississippi, two mississippi... 7.) 8.) Legume. 9.) Because that's where a choice has to be made. 10.) The universe is made up of atoms.
Page 55 1.) An employee always rises to the level of his own incompetence. 2.) 150–the maximum number of friends you can have. 3.) A body displaces its weight in a fluid. 4. If something can go wrong, it will. 5.) The curve showing the rate of taxation vs actual revenue. 6.) The square root of the number of employees does half the work. 7.) Otherwise known as the 80-20 Rule. 8.) No choice. Riders always got the horse nearest the door. 9.) Placed equidistant between hay and water, it starved to death because neither choice was better. 10.) Work expands to fill the time allotted to it. 11.) Well?
Page 56 1.) Bacteria is larger and tends to dissipate. Virus is smaller and tends to spread. 2.) Igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary. 3.) Strong nuclear, weak nuclear, electromagnetic and gravitational. 4. U.S. will protect the Americas. 5.) Grammar, Logic, Rhetoric, Mathematics, Geometry, Astronomy and Music. 6.) The Great Charter, written by King John in 1215 guaranteeing the rights of man. 7.) One starts with a premise; the other starts with facts and judgement and comes to a conclusion. 8.) Retardude. 9.) Nurturing mother. 10.) The Golden Rule, essentially.
Page 58 1.) Both will hit at the same time. 2.) Buzz Aldrin. Gene Cernan. 3.) Anosmic. 4. The rank frequency distribution is an inverse relation. 5.) They're essentially the same thing. 6.) Bull testicles. 7.) The jungle will always prevail. 8.) Cosmic vengeance. 9.) The difference between what you say you'll do and what you do do. 10.) A classic mass vs weight/displacement problem. 11.) The development of the fetus in the womb mirrors man's evolution as a human being. 12.) Parody of extreme views are indistinguishable from extreme views. Bonus: rhetorical question mark, i.e. for a question that doesn't require an answer.
Page 59 1.) Caesar's book Bello Gallico. 2.) W. B. Yeats, T.S. Elliot, Wallace Stevens. 3.) Noun, verb, adverb, adjective, preposition, conjuction, interjection, article, pronoun. 4. I.e. means in other words; e.g. means for example. 5.) Don Quixote. 6.) An impossible paradoxical situation. 7.) Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic. 8.) The. A. 9.) Shakespeare. Milton's long-winded, unfunny, and boring. 10.) The Greeks jump in media res; Romans always start at the beginning and go straight through to the end.
The Official Old's Cool Cookbook
Page iii 1.) Evaporated sea salt. 2.) A pot has two handles.
The Official Old's Cool Whirled Book
No questions; only questioning.
Wiseacre's Guide Book – 100 Wicked Smart Words
1.) H 2.) I 3.) J 4.) G 5.) E 6.) D 7.) C 8.) B 9.) F 10.) A
Switch to Door #2
Latin Matching Game
1.) J 2.) B 3.) A 4.) I 5.) C 6.) H 7.) G 8.) D 9.) E 10.) F 11.) L 12.) K 13.) O 14.) M 15.) N
The infamous $1 Questions
Tea; parents are different–stallion donkey, donkey mare; a once a year ritual; a raison d'etre; the pressure between the barrel and the cylinder in a revolver when it's fired; below sea level land and embankments; an FBI plant who doesn't fit in; reindeers whirling together in a circle for protection; embarrassment for someone making a fool of themselves; smell of the Earth after rain; a disease or condition arising spontaneously; a symptom unique to a specific disease; not possible not to say something; the darkness across the Earth during a solar eclipse; a badger.