JOHNNY MUSTARD Yuk, Retired

"I had a love-hate relationship with the Army. We both loved it before I joined.

And we both hated it when I was in.

But what I’ve realized over the past two years, or rather I just had an epiphany recently and it’s this: my knee-jerk and jokey disdain for the whole military mess I got myself into has been hiding a deeper truth that I don’t dare admit to: I haven’t actually enjoyed my time in uniform, but I can’t say I haven’t actually not enjoyed it either. Ever since that crossing of the Rubicon R-Day shock and awful eye-opening subsided I’ve been hating the Army for almost all the right reasons, without even knowing it. And the Army has continued reciprocating the contempt the whole time for all the wrong ones.

Let me explain."

This is a highly-fictionalized account (I come out as the hero, of course) of my ignominious and thankfully brief time as a cadet in The Long Gray Line. It's an ode to all my PTB brothers in arms, a non-p.c. romp and stomp that hopefully captures what that special time and place meant and might still mean today.

First Edition SOLD OUT.

Second Printing will be in stock on July 15th and all pre-orders will ship out then.

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